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How to Mend a Broken Heart

Discussion in 'Love' started by Michael, Jul 7, 2013.

  1. Michael

    Michael Administrator Staff Member

    You fell in love with someone only to later discover that they didn't share the same feelings that you have for them. It hurts. There’s a throbbing, gaping hole in the center of your chest that just won’t go away and you feel like crying. You feel like your heart, your spirit has been ripped in two. This happens to many people at some point in their life. Its love at its worst and the time has come to learn how to mend a broken heart.

    Most conventional wisdom says time heals all wounds. While this is true, you don’t want to wait around and suffer waiting for this pain to subside. The good news is that there are things you can do to help yourself with getting over a broken heart. While the fix is not instant, you will start feeling better each day.

    The first thing you want to do is cut off all contact with person you love. This is the most important step. It may feel difficult to do so, but it is common knowledge that if you continue to speak with the object of your affection, you will not be able to detach yourself from this person.

    The next step is to remove all things that remind you of that person from your life. The picture of you two together at the beach needs to be taken down from the wall and put in a box, along with the fuzzy rabbit you won at the fair, and the favorite sweatshirt that still smells like your heart’s desire. You don’t have to destroy these things but the items should not remain where you can see them any longer.

    The final step is to focus on other things. Of course, your instinct is to stay inside. But this causes problems. Not only will you become more and more despondent, you’ll get stuck thinking about the same obsessive thoughts over and over again as well. The idea is to bury yourself in other experiences by doing anything other than things that remind you of your loved one. Simply put, the faster you involve yourself in other positive experiences, the faster your painful memories will slip away.

    One key to jump starting this technique is to get out of the house. The goal in doing this is to dismantle the obsessing cycle by creating new memories. These don’t have to be spectacular new events. In fact, it can be something as easy as going to a movie or to the mall.

    Once you are out, look around and watch what other people are doing. Ask yourself what is going on with them. All of these thoughts about things other than yourself add up and help speed your recovery. If you want to add jet fuel to the process, make eye contact with strangers while smiling. When they smile back, your mood will automatically begin to lift. Repeat this technique over and over. It will yield great results. Start conversations and start interacting—you’ll begin to notice that there is a whole other world that exists without the object of your desire.

    One thing you can count on – you will recover from this. How quickly you do so depends on how much effort you put into mending your broken heart. This heartache and pain you are feeling is only going to make you stronger and wise. If you are lucky, you will have many more crushes and loves in your life, so it makes sense to learn the techniques to heal a broken heart early on. Keep in mind that you are hardly the first to experience this temporary setback and you will hardly be the last. This is love and this is life. You may not sense it today but all will be fine. How do you feel today? What can you do that will help mend your broken heart?

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